this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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