Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
