I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
