So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
