Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
