ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
