He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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