Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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