How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize