Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
