Banned from zoo.
Again?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
