Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
