I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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