and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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