I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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