We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
