...so i touched it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
