Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
