C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
