All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
