Small penises have feelings too.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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