Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
