I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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