it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
