I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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