I feel like abortions should bother me more
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
