this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Panties = found
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
