this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
