Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
