Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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