Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
