But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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