you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
