grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
