i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
