sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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