careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize