Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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