Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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