he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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