I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
