I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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