he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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