at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
