hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My cat gives me a boner
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
