sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
