garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
