i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
