I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize