i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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