it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize