Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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