I wanna bring you to show and tell
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
