i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
