I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It's just like the Real World with babies
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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