I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
