I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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