youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize