and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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