I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My life is pants optional.
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