This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
